Saturday, May 27, 2006

Mommy Love

I usually don't like pictures of myself.

I recently took in about ten rolls of film to be developed (taken prior to the digital era). Most of the pictures were from Jaxon's first year (he's now almost 4). There was one roll in particular that was really good, taken during Jaxon's first camping trip. He was about ten months old at the time. So, here's my favorite:



Just look at Jaxon's eyes! And me? Well I just look damn happy...

Monday, May 22, 2006

Wildflower

Wow, the last couple weeks have been very surreal.

Did I really do a triathlon? Did I really complete a triathlon with a broken wrist?

There are times when I feel like a crazy person...who would do that? Why? What if I had wrecked again? *shudder*

First of all, let me just say "adrenaline is good stuff, really good stuff." Honestly, it wasn't that painful....except when I tried to use my hand. Luckily it was my left wrist that was injured so I could still change gears and use my rear brake. Also, having spent so much time on my bike prior to the race, I felt comfortable enough to know my limitations. And I had ridden the course a week prior so knew there was nothing I couldn't handle.

I felt a couple painful twinges during the run, but at that point I was SO CLOSE, so close to my goal......for which I had trained so hard.

The primary reason I decided to do triathlon was to recreate the feelings of accomplishment that childbirth gave me.

I had some complications during my pregnancy: gestational diabetes. Had to give myself an insulin shot every night before bed. Had to test my blood many times throughout the day. My diet was VERY strict (I actually lost 20 lbs during my pregnancy).

Regardless.....I felt fabulous. I swam everyday. I loved my huge brown belly. It was magnificent.

And the actual childbirth. Well now, THAT'S some hard labor. And I did it all without screaming & yelling or being mean to my husband.

It was a beautiful, mind~blowing, positive experience. My midwife was amazing, and my nurses were very special. I had a great support team: my husband and dear friend Lisa (now a doula). And we ended up with a beautiful healthy baby boy.

So what happened?

I gained back all the weight I had lost and more. It's a never ending work~in~progress: Fighting the demons that bring out my insecurities, feelings of negativity & self loathing. Finding comfort in food. Chocolate. Losing myself to the stupid television.

Triathlon saved me. Is still saving me.......

I can't swim or bike....yet. But I've been running, and walking, and doing pilates, and belly dancing, and hula hoopin', and chasing my little boy, and eating healthy, and reading books on triathlon, and reading tri-geek blogs, and working on my own blog.....

I feel so honored that Kahuna
featured my story in his blog. I am still blown away by all the wonderful comments that people made. Being called a hero........ (who, me?) I told my husband, "Check out the computer, honey, Kahuna called me his hero!" to which Daddy B replied, "Everyone thinks you're a hero."

Completely humbled.....

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

My Training Partner


He's a real slave driver......

The Men in my Life



I just wanted you to meet Daddy B & Jax....

Last Week a Hero, This Week a Wimp

I had my follow up appointment with the Doctor yesterday. I felt a little woozie when they took my splint off. I don't know, my arm just felt wierd, and looked wierd with bright purple bruises and big black stitches. I felt like such a WIMP! They took out the stitches, and assured me that everything is healing up nicely.

Time for rehabilitation.

I'm supposed to take off my splint OFTEN and start using my left arm/hand as much as possible. It's really hard to do! I feel like an injured little bird with a broken wing. I just want keep it wrapped up and protected. Ugh.

Anyway, the good news is......the Dr recommended 2-3 more weeks off from work. Cool!

I have decided to really ENJOY this time off. I want to concentrate on my core. I want to belly dance. I want to update my blog. I want to cook healthy delicious meals. I want to walk....and run. I want to play with Jaxon. I want to READ. I want to catch up on my favorite podcasts.